Archive for the Nats Fans Like It In The Ass Category

Quote of the Week: Angry Commenter Edition

Posted in Nats Fans Like It In The Ass, Quote of the Week, Washington Nationals on August 8, 2009 by Adam Smoot

There really is nothing more satisfying than pissing off an entire city. I didn’t know I had that power, but clearly, I was wrong. This past week, I managed to irritate the entire fanbase of a certain shitty franchise to the point that all 37 of them decided to let me have it in the comments section. Of course, when you give angry sports fans a keyboard and an open forum, hilarity will ensue. Witness:

OK, so the Nats beat the fins off ya. It happens. The Yankees waited out a FIVE HOUR rain-delay for it to happen to them. Go ahead and live your pennant-chasing life. We’ll just enjoy not losing.

You enjoy not losing. But judging from the standings, you’re gonna have to sit through a whole bunch of not winning, as well.

Fish fan. How about “hey, you guys did a number on us but we’re still a better team”? You present yourself as a profane loser. How seriously would you take someone that wrote as bad as you?

Poorly, sir. Wrote as poorly as me.

Wow, talk about a sore loser. And, you know, I was taught that when your only recourse is insult and ad hominem attack, that’s a pretty strong indicator you don’t believe you can win a debate based on the facts.

Facts: There is no debate. If your boys were to run off 15 wins in a row, they’d still be 4th in the division. After sweeping the Marlins, the Nationals still suck. They just suck a little less.

Finished not-last only once–don’t we know it!
Hey, remind me, who *did* finish last that year?

That argument will probably do you more harm than good. It’s like telling a girl, “Remember that one time I didn’t cum too soon?”

“Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.” Mt 15:11

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we’ve hit the Bible. No really, I swear, it gets better.

Oh, and I guess I should include the obligatory “Get Well Soon, Nick” with this.

And take good care of Bonifacio, too. Josh Willingham says hello, and thanks.

Alright, now we’ve reached the city limits of Crazytown.

Let’s close this bad boy out with a series of comments that all share a common theme…

-We KNOW we suck, that’s why it’s so funny the Fish couldn’t beat us notwithstanding your “gift from the gods” proclamations.

-We Nats fans know our team is bad. In fact, we’ve joked on our own fanblogs that the Lerner family doesn’t own the Nats, because the Marlins own the Nats. We can laugh about it because we know we won’t even sniff 4th place this year.

-Also, if you think that Nationals fans don’t know their team sucks, you’re an idiot. Everyone knows the Nationals suck. You just wrote this because for three days, let’s face it: the Marlins sucked harder.

-I have to say reading your whining post had to be one of the funniest things I’ve read today. The Nats might be the worst team in baseball, but you’ve got to be the biggest LOSER out there.

There really is nothing more amusing than someone having to preface their anger with an “I know we suck, but…”

Yikes. These are my readers…?

No, Really, You Can Come Down From The Ledge Now…

Posted in Florida Marlins, Nats Fans Like It In The Ass, Philadelphia Phillies, Recaps, Washington Nationals on August 7, 2009 by Adam Smoot

Marlins Nationals Baseball

Well, shit, I don’t think any of us saw that one coming.

Not that it’s that big a deal.

Some folks would have you believe that this is some major catastrophe for the Marlins playoff hopes, but is it really? They got swept by a shitty team, but everyone seems to forget that they also managed to take two out of three from two first-place teams the week before, when nobody in South Florida thought they even stood a chance.

Assuming that the results of a baseball game worked out in the most logical of manners, with the better team typically notching the W, the Marlins would’ve gone 2-4 against the Dodgers and Cubs, and something like 2-1 against the Nationals. Instead, back in quirky, reality baseball, where everything is completely random and unpredictable, they went 4-2 against two really good teams and 0-3 against a crappy one. Baseball is like that sometimes.

So, instead of potentially going 4-5, they actually went… umm… 4-5.

Now, cool your fucking jets, people.

Next up for the Marlins is what any team mired in a slump would add to their wish list: a weekend series with the defending World Champions. A team whose cock-gobbling fans have actually earned the right to talk shit. Unlike these cock-gobbling fans