No, Really, You Can Come Down From The Ledge Now…

Marlins Nationals Baseball

Well, shit, I don’t think any of us saw that one coming.

Not that it’s that big a deal.

Some folks would have you believe that this is some major catastrophe for the Marlins playoff hopes, but is it really? They got swept by a shitty team, but everyone seems to forget that they also managed to take two out of three from two first-place teams the week before, when nobody in South Florida thought they even stood a chance.

Assuming that the results of a baseball game worked out in the most logical of manners, with the better team typically notching the W, the Marlins would’ve gone 2-4 against the Dodgers and Cubs, and something like 2-1 against the Nationals. Instead, back in quirky, reality baseball, where everything is completely random and unpredictable, they went 4-2 against two really good teams and 0-3 against a crappy one. Baseball is like that sometimes.

So, instead of potentially going 4-5, they actually went… umm… 4-5.

Now, cool your fucking jets, people.

Next up for the Marlins is what any team mired in a slump would add to their wish list: a weekend series with the defending World Champions. A team whose cock-gobbling fans have actually earned the right to talk shit. Unlike these cock-gobbling fans


8 Responses to “No, Really, You Can Come Down From The Ledge Now…”

  1. NatsPeanuts Says:

    hahahahahah sore loser

    Your blaming on the fans because your jealous we don’t slit our wrists over this season. Put down the knife and remind yourself theres baseball everyday. Calm down mate, don’t kill yourself over the marlins.

  2. Haha eat shit d-bag.

    Sweepage. Thanks for willingham by the way, hope you are enjoying Bonafacio! HAHAHAHAHAH. SWEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

  3. Hmmm… suddenly “Any team can beat any other team on any given day” isn’t horseshit anymore! Now it’s “Baseball is like that sometimes.” Little boy, you’ve grown up a bit today… who’da thunk?

    I won’t be so arrogant as to predict that the Phillies are going to spear, scale and gut your Fish to pieces this weekend, but I’ll sure as hell be ROOTING for it. ‘Cause you haven’t had nearly enough humble pie yet.

    Keep sucking on it and liking it!

  4. Mike H has it spot on. It’s people like you who can really ruin the game of baseball for everyone. After reading your last two posts, it’s blatantly obvious that you’re the one who needs to “cool your fucking jets.” You get swept by the Nationals, deal with it. Even you say that baseball is “completely random and unpredictable,” and that’s just what this sweep was (look, I’m even admitting to it). Don’t get me wrong, I, like you, have a lot of pride in my team, but not enough pride to write trash like this about the other team and their fans after three straight losses. “Nats Fans like it in the ass”; disgusting. At least Nationals fans can come to grips with the fact that they suck and are going nowhere. God damn.

  5. GrassThrower Says:

    So now you have a Marlins blog full of Nats readers who feel sorry for you.


  6. DeezNats Says:

    You’re not only a sore loser, you are quite the homophobe, aren’t you?

  7. Say what? Says:

    Maybe the stadium is empty at Marlins games because folks who have sat near you never came back. Have a nice life, I’m done here. Hope you get your act together eventually.

  8. Section 220 Says:

    It’s telling that the last 50 comments on your blog have all been Nats fans making fun of you. Clearly, no one else bothers to read this unfunny Deadspin wannabe.

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